Saturday, February 27, 2010

Where In The World Is Ruba's Reality?

Okay. Wow. It's been a month since I've been on here. I apologize to all of my devoted fans. I have been preoccupied, but that is no excuse, nothing is more important than my wonderful readers. I love you for your undying support.

What is it that has taken me away from you? You ask? Work. Yes, that is right, someone hired me. My husband hired me (technically not... since I don't get a paycheck.) We have a drycleaners and we needed someone to fill in the morning shift ASAP. Turns our Little Miss Thang (the former attendant) was sending all of OUR customers to the drycleaners she worked at at night... maybe she worked for commission? I begged and pleaded for this job, and then Eyad (that would be my husband) finally gave in.

I spent the first week coming up with fun advertising ideas, and getting to know all of my soon-to-be regulars. Mr. Pollack, the man with the cigar and hunting gear. Keith, the major airline pilot. I can't wait till I'm comfortable enough with him to ask for discounts. Andre, the rich dude with all the cool cars. Mr. Dudley.... the customer that never fails with the "heavily soiled collars." McDuffie, the father of a Tampa Bay Bucaneer... and Susie. Ah, Susie. Ali's honorary grandma (Ali comes to work with me)... she brings him little treats every time she comes in (which has become every day.... drycleaning or not.) Oh, and let's not forget the old man that always leaves me his change... and a wink. But... I did forget his name, maybe I'll remember when he starts leaving me bills instead of change. Get your minds out of the gutter people.

So those were my cool regulars. The following were my... weird encounters, and for the sake of privacy I will not be using names.


So a lady walks in and says "do you guys clean cat urine?" I mean, really? Did you have to tell us what was on your BRIGHT YELLOW NYLON VEST? All I could say was (in my head, of course) THANK GOD WE SEND THE CLOTHES OUT TO BE CLEANED. We are just a drop off/pick up location. Then this big dude comes in... a man of color. He seemed nice, although his size 56 waist in a belly shirt wasn't so flattering (ya, we look at the sizes if they spark our interest.) He had a large bag filled with two piece suits. I mean, these were straight from PIMPS R US. Turns out he's a big baller and was on his way to the Super Bowl and wanted to wear his FINEST LIME GREEN pinstriped suit to it. Um, ok... whatever floats your boat, just pay me :-) Who else... hmm... lady with silk pajamas? Must be her second marriage? Tough times people, you must recycle what you already have. Hahaha. No new lingerie for her!!! Oh, how could I forget? A man comes in EARLY in the morning (before I even arrived) and asked Eyad "When is the soonest I can have this comforter back? I need it back immediately." I conjured up a story that he cheated on his wife while she was out of town and needed the comforter cleaned and returned before she could ever tell the difference. Who knows? Eyad said maybe he had guests coming into town. Hahaha, I'm mean... but I gotta keep myself entertained people. The last, errr, encounter was yesterday. I was pulling the trash bag out of the trash can and what pops into my view? A mens black Hanes underwear. It had been drycleaned and then thrown in the trash... I still have to ask the night attendant about that one. Maybe the poopoo stains didn't come out? That can't be it, they were black!

Time to put my children to bed... and fold laundry. Till next time, God willing less than a month from now. Love you, my peeps!!!

3 comments:

  1. LMAOOO.... OMG that was some funny Sh*t... girl you definitely have a way with words! Keep them coming!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Amineh. So glad you read and enjoy it!

    ReplyDelete